Online Pregnancy Journals

This really isn't something that I should post in the baby journal area, but I just need to write.

Tim and I talked again last night and he told me that he doesn't want to marry me right now. Our "ducks" aren't in a row. Why does this hit me so hard? He claims he does want to be with me, and he does want to marry me, so why not now?

We fought all day Thursday because I asked to go to a financial planner. He took that as an insult that he was failing at taking care of us. No matter how I put it, I couldn't convince him that I just wanted a professional's advice.

He Has ALOT of debt and perfect credit. I have NO debt and crappy credit. I do have a few straggling bills that followed me from Chicago, but I don't believe anything we can't knock out of the way.

Is this just an excuse?

His parents are very unsupportive of him when we announced our engagement (long before the pregnancy) and then again last week, when we told his parents we were pregnant, they took it hard, and he hasn't spoke to them since.

Could this have something to do with him wanting to call the wedding off? He watched me print and assemble invitations this week. They are ready to be mailed. 4 weeks from today was to be the date.

I don't know if I can continue living with him if we don't marry. I feel so isolated right now. I feel the changes my body is making every minute I'm awake. I love this creature inside of me already. I don't want to harm it by any means, but I also don't know if I can continue living in this area, what feels like so far from any family or friends; no support system.

If I didn't need my insurance to provide for me and this baby, I think I'd be packing and moving home to my mom's. My next thought is always how I should pack what little I do have and get my own place and try to make this on my own. That thought is followed up with Adoption. Could I really think about carrying a baby to term, and giving it up to a couple that really wanted the child - who could take care of it, nurture, provide, love, and not fight around it as much as we tend to do?

I don't know. I'm tired of crying and worrying. I've worked really hard to never get pregnant in my first marriage and in the relationships following it, knowing that the men I was with weren't wanting to be dads or I didn't think they would work. With Tim, I relaxed; I really thought since almost the first time we ever talked about kids, how he would be the perfect dad.

I didn't get pregnant on purpose, thats for sure, but it happened, and still I feel so guilty, so wrong.

How can someone want to pledge his life to you in May, plan a wedding, find out your pregnant in July and want to cancel the wedding?

I love him so much. I hate the thought of being apart from him. But I feel so rejected and alone right now.

I wish there was a magic answer.

Tim and I are fighting terribly the last couple days. He thinks I'm a rag, I think he's being insensitive, we just aren't communicating. He makes a comment everytime I read from What to expect when your expecting, or Your pregnancy week by week. The comments are how I read too much, or I'm reading too far ahead.

Money is an issue. I think thats more what is bothering us. I asked if he wanted to go to a financial planner today, and he of course had to get back to work right away and hasn't called me back.

Sometimes, I know it would be tough to be a single mom, and its the last thing I've ever wanted, but the volatile home environment wouldn't be there. I could do it on my income. It would be tough, but I could.

We're 4 weeks from getting married, and I just don't know what to do.

We're both in therapy on our own. I suggested marriage counseling last night; thinking on Fridays (his day off) would be the best day for it. He told me that I don't understand how important it is for him to have HIS day off. He needs his space; freedom. Just slapped me in the face.

I can't hardly concentrate at work, I'm scrambling to try to find the answers, and I don't know where to turn.

My baby is now considered a FETUS! I'm 8 weeks and 4 days!
My first prenatal visit is set, well semi-set. Because I am not telling my boss about the baby yet, I have to be pretty sneaky. My OB has the same hours as my office, so I never have a chance to call without risking my boss picking up on the call, SO I have put off making my first appointment. It clicked today that I should just give my hubby the information and have him make the appointment for me. SO the office is sending all of the papers in the mail for me to fill out and bring back during my lunch. When I bring them back I will get a lab order to go to the hospital to have my blood work done since the doctor won't see anyone until they've had blood testing done. Once the office gets my tests back, they will call and set up an "offcial" appointment with the dictir himself. I was excited about this at first, and then I got irritated because I want to do it sooner. When I got brave and called them from work I found out that they won't do it any sooner, which added to my prenatal ability to go from happy to ticked in .2 seconds. So, now I'm crabby, and when I complain to hubby he gets all crabby too and says it's my own fault for procrastinating. That sets me off too: I let him know how much I hate my car that is having troubles, and how much I hate the wireless Internet that always disconnects me, and how he "better not be late" after he picks up Luke, because I'm running a tight shift from now on, and how much I hate the way our new house smells, and blah, blah, blah, blah... Did I mention how lovely it is to be pregnant right now?
I had a HUGE struggle not to vomit again at work. I'm afraid if I keep it up, the boss will hear me and think that I'n bulemic, or maybe he might catch on to my secret, either way I don't want him to know, but I can no longer tolerate the smell of coffee, and since he keeps the pot right around the corner from my desk, it's hard to NOT get sick! You think I would be happy about my super hero abilities to smell Personally, I would have picked a different super hero talent, because this one stinks!
Anyways~ I'll write again when I'm in a better mood!

What a weekend! My mom and step-dad came to visit Tim and I and we had a great time! On Sunday, Tim's parents drove down to our little town and met my parents for the first time over lunch.

Let me back up. Tim's parents weren't exactly thrilled when we announced back in May that we were getting married. They thought we were moving to soon. So telling them our news about adding to their family with a 5th Grandchild, made me very nervous.

I had sent my mother a white rose, and a pink and blue carnation about 12 hours after I discovered my news to announce it to her and that surprise went over as expected - joy, happiness, and excitement!

So yesterday after lunch, sitting next to my mom and dad who were very supportive and willing to go along with the "surprise" Tim and (mostly) I told everybody they were all going to be grandparents again, and we were due in March.

My mom and step dad whoooo-aaahhhdd and were very happy, congratulating the other grandparents, and well, Tim's dad didn't seem too taken aback by the news, but his mom just sat there. Across the table from me, with her arms crossed staring out into space. Lovely.

My mom and step dad tried to continue with conversation with almost unwilling participants. I asked to be excused to use the restroom (how odd eh?) and when I returned to the table, his parents had left without even saying goodbye.

Tim is 37. I get so upset with his mom for trying to control his life. Sure its going to be tough for us, but I know we will be good parents, and I just hope that giving her some time, she will come around like everyone says she will.

It hurt me to see Tim upset at his parents. To not say congratulations to him on his first baby, or even give him a hug of encouragement broke my heart.

We talked for a long while last night, and we are both very happy and LUCKY to have my parents support. I hope we can gain thiers as we progress.

I've known I'm pregnant for exactly two weeks.

I know, I know... nobody wants to hear how tired I am, but I can't stand it! I'm going to end up sleeping my way through this pregnancy, or so it feels.

If I'm not sleeping, I'm feeling guilty for sleeping. Last night, Tim was deep cleaning the stove, something he has never done, and it annoyed me. Why couldn't I just put my blinders on and watch tv? No, I had to nag at him. I know all he was doing was trying to help me. My parents are coming this weekend, and like he said, he'd end up doing it between now and then anyway.

Sometime I wonder if he really understands that I'm not trying to slack.

I keep dreaming about Florence Henderson. The first time was her and my recently deceased Grandfather both applying to be my nanny. Last night she was chasing me and for some reason I was scared. I don't remember if I had the baby or not, but for some reason it felt like it.

My mom thinks I'm just worried about things being perfect, like on the Brady Bunch. Maybe.

I haven't gained any weight, at least according to my scale at home, which is a good thing in my book. I'm overweight as it is, and that is a big concern. All the books I keep reading, say that overweight women shouldn't gain more than 15 -20 pounds. I really wish I didn't have to wait so long to talk to my doctor.

I'm still fighting the urge to rip my breasts off my body. That would probably be more pleasant than the weight of them right now. I like the sensitivity to some extent, but this is a little overboard!

Until Next Time...
Melanie

I'm almost eight weeks now. We still haven't told anyone yet. I haven't even had a prenatal visit yet. Jason keeps hounding me about it, so I called today, but they have shortened hours on Wednesdays, so I'll call tomorrow. I'm hoping to go sometime next week, maybe later in the week so we can hopefully hear a heartbeat!
I keep thinking about how slow 40 weeks are going to go by, and wether or not I think I can make it that long, but then I think that I've made it through 8 weeks already, and I hardly remember blinking!
Mixed feelings are about a give in by now. I've always known I was going to have kids. It was just something I never thought twice about. I want a huge family, but now I'm having doubts. I'm scared the baby won't be normal, I'm afraid of needles, so the thought of my first pre natal visit makes me cringe. That said, I'm sure you all can predict my feelings on childbirth! I read in "What to Expect when your Expecting" that people with needle phobias can request to have a "needle-less" delivery. I have already informed Jason that I'm going to do that. He laughed! Oh I don't know, I guess I have 32 weeks at least to think about it!
I can hardly wait to bring a new baby home... MY baby, but then I think about how it's supposed to come out.... Oh! How I love those mixed emotions!

Boy oh Boy. I cannot believe the changes to my body right now! I have always had prominent nipples, but the nipple and area around them are so puffy! I think I am growing out of my bras if that is possible.

I have been sleeping with some form of support, and it is helping; whether it be a supportive tank top, or a sports bra, the difference is noticeable.

The other major difference is the way the night looks. I've never been one who had to get up in the night for anything, I could always wait until morning to go to the bathroom. not now! I'm up three and four times a night. This must be God's way of preparing me for no sleep? But so early? I didn't think this happened until the last few months!

Tim and I seem to be doing a little better. It fluctuates from day to day, and we are both seeing counselors right now to help us out with this adjustment. My first appointment is today. I just feel like I am being let down because he isn't expressing his excitement in the same way - I want to learn how to understand that part; to not force the issue.

My parents are coming to visit us this weekend - I can't wait!

Hello everyone, my name is Natalie. I was married July 4, 2004. My husband is in the Air Force so we did the whole patriotic thing, it was BEAUTIFUL! I have a five year old stepson from my husband's first marriage, he doesn't know about the baby yet. He keeps talking about how much he wants one though. At first it was to be a boy only, but he's so desperate now, he'll take anything he can get, which is good because his father and I are hoping for a girl. We get Luke 1 week on, 1 week off, so we will tell him about baby "peanut" when he comes back on July 26.
I'm just going to take him to a doctors appointment with us and let him figure it out. We plan to tell the rest of the family after that by prancing him around in a shirt that says "I'm the big brother". I hope they get the hint!!!

Tim is just freaking out lately on bills. He seems to get so upset if I talk about anything ahead more than one month. I really do appreciate him wanting to make sure that we "can roll" as he likes to put it, but he seriously has a panic attack if I mention anything about moving before this baby is born or discussing anything past being pregnant.

We have been careless with our money. Sure we make enough money to pay our bills, its just going to take both of us to sit down and plan a budget. He is in this phase where he wants to handle it all, but I know just from listening to him talk, that the thought stresses him out. He wants me to list all of my bills, and I will, but there has to be a better alternative than him stressing about every dollar right now.

I'm crabby. All we've been doing is fighting. If we're not fighting about how tired I am all the time, and how much I've wanted to sleep, we're fighting about money.

I have to find a way to make peace.

5 days now since I've found out. Approximately 4 weeks. The worst thing so far? Fatigue. I can hardly stay awake during the day, my evenings are shorter than they were when I was 7 years old and had to go to bed before the street lights went out and to pull myself out of bed in the morning to go to work is a chore all in itself!

Everybody says its going to get better - I sure hope so. I still wouldn't trade it for the world though. If I have to be tired for the rest of my life (a huge fear), I'll do it with a faint smile :-)

I'm a little queasy in the mornings and late at night. Nothing huge, but noticeable.

My chest feels as if it weighs 30 pounds. I'm thinking that sleeping in a sports bra would be a good thing - I wonder if others have found relief with it?

I know people don't want to hear how tired I am, so hopefully this wasn't a bummer of an entry, but its what I feel right now.

ta~ta

Tim and I have now known about our upcoming arrival for about 30 hours. Needless to say, we're both still a little surprised.

He proposed marriage to me on Memorial Day Weekend, and the crazy thing; we've both always talked of how we wanted to do things "right". i.e. marriage first, babies second. Well the intentions were there, but something else decided differently.

I'm only about 3-4 weeks along according to the online calculators I can find. The reason I took the home test was the salivating in my mouth and my increased breast tenderness, along with lack of my period. I didn't even have time to put that little stick down on the counter before them two purple lines jumped in those windows!

I've so many thoughts; I'm anxious, scared, and looking at a stack of books along with numerous web sites. Tim thinks I'm going to read myself into a mental ward!

Well we're having a baby. Our first. I'm 28 and he's 37, although we'll each be a year older by the time this little one shows his/her face around March 17th of 2005.

We live in the middle of America near Omaha, Nebraska. In the 5 days since we've discovered our pregnancy, Tim and I have been a roller coaster of emotions - most of them joyous, some of them financial woes, many of them just trying to find out what the heck is going to happen to our lives, to my body, and the effect it will have on all of our family!

I feel lucky right now. My sister is also expecting, about 3 weeks ahead of me. We always wanted to have babies together! It will be interesting to have someone to relate and compare situations with.

She showed me this article she was able to retrieve with her first pregnancy with these pictures and descriptions of fertilization; the amount of little sperms that swim towards that egg, and the way that egg and sperm look so alien-space like at this time. It just made me feel like Kirstie Alley in Look Who's Talking. Maybe I should rent that movie again.